What would Lilith Do?

A brief musing on womenfolk and sisterhood

I spent Beltane with five lovely women. I’ve known them all for many years, most for over 20, one since I was 15. These women bring me joy and that is how we spent Beltane, being rebelliously joyful. In a world full of unrest and anger and sadness, all of which we are acutely aware of and feel ourselves, we danced around the Maypole and lit the cauldron fires welcoming the coming Summer and celebrating the fertility of the season. We sent love out into the universe, to our friends, some having just left this mortal coil, some nursing those preparing to cross over and all who are suffering through war and unrest. The list is long and the sorrows run deep. Looking around this group of women, I begin to understand what real community is, what our tribal ancestors must have felt in connection to each other and the land. We need each other and depend on one another if for nothing else, to listen.

Growing up I had very few female friends. We are taught from a young age that women are untrustworthy. Our society tells us, magazines and media tell us, and unwittingly our families tell us. My own grandmother had a deep sister wound, so deep that she could not trust her daughter or granddaughters purely because we are female. The betrayal she felt from her own sisters carried over into the next generations, but it stops with me. Maybe that is why I’m surrounded by boys (husband and 3 sons) and must seek the companionship of women. It is definitely part of why I started leading women’s circles nearly five years ago. The void must be closed; we must learn to trust each other and to support one another, or the patriarchy will continue to use us as kickstands for their broken systems.

We are maidens, mothers, wise women and crones. We hold up more than half the sky, and it is well past time we remember that. We’ve been pitted against each other for thousands of years. We turned on each other during the Burning Times watching our sisters and neighbors swing and burn. We’ve made each other more unsafe in an already dangerous world. Once upon a time we gathered to tell stories, laugh and cry while we washed clothes or cooked but slowly, we closed ourselves off into our homes trying to outdo each other in a capitalist culture. Now we see that separation has only kept us under the boots of the rich (men). We’ve stepped on each other to get promotions or a higher ranking in the workplace, but that has only further damaged our joint cause for equality. Ultimately, we cannot continue to demonize each other, and I can feel the void beginning to close. Collectively we are stronger and “they” fear that power. It is time to turn the tide ladies. We ride at dawn!

The Goddess of Equality...Lilith- From October 2024

Lilith is of Mesopotamian origin and known in ancient Jewish stories and texts as the first woman of creation or Adam’s first wife. She was left out of the bible completely with the exception of the Book of Isaiah which mentions her as a “dweller of waste places” and her story adds another version of the creation story or Genesis, as she was created from dust and earth at the same time as Adam. They were created as equals. Living in Eden, going about enjoying life until something shifted, Adam began to demand Lilith submit and be subservient to him. This did not work for Lilith, who, having eaten from the tree of Knowledge knew that she and Adam were created to be equal and in the image of Yahweh and Asherah the God and Goddess.

Of course, there are many stories and different depictions of Lilith, but all agree that once she fled the Garden of Eden, she was made out to be a winged demon. God sent three creepy angels after her who threatened death and a life of watching her children die if she did not return to Eden and yet she declined, preferring a life of her own rather than one of inequality. In the Kabbalah she is seen as an evil reflection of the feminine aspect of God along with the angel Samael whom it is said she took as a lover and had “demonic” children with after departing from the garden. Samael is known as the “angel of Death” to many.

The stories of Lilith are that of a succubus, stealing into homes to take the seed of men who slept alone, to impregnate herself with more demon spawn. Talismans were made to protect children from her as she known to kidnap and murder them. She is also known as the Mesopotamian demon Lilitu or “night monster” appearing in the Book of Isiah, the Babylonian Talmud and the Zohar.

The more I read and learn about Lilith, the more I’m impressed with the power she is given because she stood up for herself. Is the patriarchy really so weak that they give their power away to a woman who they see as “uncontrollable”? Ha! Depicted as the antithesis of family life and marriage she is embodies the fears of infidelity, ruined marriages, the dangers of childbirth and the wanton sexual desires of the untamed woman. Society cannot control her; she chooses her own sexual partners, runs wild and free and is not held down by children and family life. Oh my, what could be worse? I mean, does she have a cat too?

In the 1970’s during the Feminist Movement, a reclamation of Lilith began and found inspiration in her story as a powerful and independent woman. Sharing Lilith not as a demon but as the original woman and reclaiming her sovereignty as an equal. Her name inspiring a Jewish women’s magazine in 1976 and continued interest in her “rebirth” especially with Jewish women and neo-pagans. The 90’s brought us the “Lilith Fair” concert series highlighting talented female musician. Taking back Lilith is akin to reclaiming the title of “Witch” or “Bitch”, the taking back of something deemed “bad” because it didn’t fit the molds it was prescribed. The proud ownership of a title that means we do not submit and that we are in fact to be treated as equals.

Today when I talk about Lilith, not many people know who she is or her story. Considering women are still fighting for equality and at the moment LOSING the rights our mothers and grandmothers fought for us to have here in the US, I think it’s time we all learned a little something about the original woman who would not submit, who walked away from the Garden prepared to dwell in the waste places or die rather than be told and treated as a lesser being based on her sex. Lilith is not asking for more than she deserves, does not find herself above anyone or any man, she knows her worth and appreciates yours. Depicted as vindictive or worse yet, non-compliant, she has been living in the background for too long. Lilith’s story is the first tale of the demonization of women, and it is what we have lived with for the past 2000 years. Our Witch wounds, may go back even farther than the Burning Times, stretching back to the Garden of Eden and the stories that have painted strong and independent women as Jezebels (whores), Witches, Bitches, Hags, Battle-Axes or Childless Cat Ladies. Being seen can feel dangerous, being seen can actually be dangerous.

Living in such strange times as we are today, working with Lilith feels appropriate. Calling upon her truth seeing eyes may shed some light in the darker places, although to be clear, she’s ok with the dark too. Usually depicted or associated with snakes, Lilith is also known in some stories as the Serpent in the Garden who convinced Eve to eat the apple from the tree of knowledge. Snakes are symbols of fertility, death, rebirth, temptation, sexuality, healing and medicine. A symbol used in the medical field, the Caduceus is two snakes wrapped on the wand of Hermes, the messenger God’s wand. The Ouroboros, which depicts is the snake devouring its own tail is also a symbol of eternity as well as the duality of existence, life and death, masculine and feminine, light and dark and mortality and divinity. The polarities and contradictions that are present in all humanity, the balance as it were. Balance and equality are important to Lilith and acknowledging her as an equal being, the first woman assists in dispelling the negative images and stories told of her. As the snake sheds its skin, it is reborn. The snake is able to find renewal in growth and although shedding doesn’t hurt exactly, it does take a lot of work.

In astrology, there is a mathematical point on the apogee of the moon’s orbit known as Black Moon Lilith. In our natal chart this point represents Lilith’s dark feminine energy and wherever she lives in your chart highlights an area of challenge and work to be done. Facing our own inner demons in order to grow and live in a deeper authenticity is the energy Black Moon Lilith brings to our own cosmology. Different than Chiron, the wounded Healer, Black Moon Lilith moves us to continue to remove her own demonized myth and reclaim balance. Her placement represents an area in which we are actually meant to have power and to claim that power, we must address the challenges. It’s shadow work to be sure. In fact, you are currently reading the reclamation of my power. My Black Moon Lilith is in Gemini in my 8^th house. I am called to write, to be a word witch and yet I fear being misunderstood or “cancelled” because of the topics I am drawn to. The 8^th house as I mentioned earlier represents the occult, sex, death and rebirth and well, here I am, a witch/astrologer/Death Doula writing about the stars, dark goddesses and caring for those transitioning through the veil. I still feel imposter syndrome and am scared sometimes but, words have power, and I am compelled to share mine.

Recently I have brought Black Moon Lilith into my astrology practice and have found it has really helped my clients identify areas of shadow work and power reclamation. She opens doors we generally like to keep closed but the opportunities for growth cannot be denied. All of us have a darkness or shadow and working with Black Moon Lilith is an empowering way to embrace and even exalt the parts we have tried to forget or pretend don’t exist. As a society we have generally come to believe that our shadow is something bad and doing shadow work is about embracing the bad parts. Yes, that can have some truth to it, our shadow can be our unsavory parts BUT it can also be the parts we were told were bad, that we were told were unacceptable, that we were told we could not be because “girls aren’t engineers” or “boys don’t dance”. In a house full of lawyers, being an artist was probably not on the list of acceptable occupations.

I mentioned that writing this Substack is part of my Black Moon Lilith journey and it has been a challenge for me to put myself out in the world because the world is pretty mean sometimes. It has taken courage and continued showing up at the keyboard or the journal. This will be my 108^th article since I began to claim my word witchery. I have lots of deleted drafts, and saved work that will probably never leave the file folder. My friends would probably laugh that this is hard for me because I am very outspoken in many ways, never shying away from using my voice but underneath I do care about how I am perceived, I do worry about making mistakes and looking bad. My Mercury in Virgo definitely wants perfection even though perfection has never been my personal goal, it is my goal in how I communicate. Learning this about myself has opened doors I have kept shut and now I’m allowing myself freedom. This is a threshold I continue to cross every time I hit “publish”.

Lilith is the dark feminine we all possess. She will not be tamed or quietly submissive. We can all, women and men and two spirited learn from her the power of equality and balance. We can all take a page from her story and decline to be told how we “should” act or our prescribed place. When we call on Lilith, she will not be a gentle Goddess, but she will be fair. She will tell you the truth and show you the places you can reclaim. She will empower you to use your gifts, to grow your confidence and she will most definitely be wild.

What’s happening locally?

Check out all upcoming events at The Exchange where we gather, learn new crafts, laugh and plot the revolution….

New Moon Women’s Circle May 17th for the Taurus New Moon!

Revolutionary Witchcraft June 11th! This spellbinding workshop is offered quarterly and a fabulous time to gather and learn and make a little magic! We are stronger together!!! Join us for open discussion and group ritual work as we build community and craft a better future!

Let’s Work Together!

I am a hedge witch living in Vallejo, CA with my 3 sons, husband, and Ember, a 7-year-old ball python. I am a certified Death Doula, Funeral Arranger, Astrologer and Writer.